本文旨在探討牙買加•金凱得在她的小說《我母親的自傳》中強調面對真實的自我，而非只是盲目地認同殖民主所代表的一切價值。在《我母親的自傳》中，一位年老的敘述者述說她一生從小到老的故事。敘述者的一生面臨許多困境，如母親的逝世，家人的冷漠及父親的威權等。這些事情都是金凱得用以來批判殖民主所留下來的價值及不平等如何繼續影響這些曾經被殖民的人。本文指出金凱得是以女性顛覆性的性慾及不受規範的身體來重新書寫她們自己的歷史，用來替自己發聲，找回被殖民主抹滅的自我。但這一切都需要那些曾被殖民的人真正面對已被殖民主抹黑的「醜陋的自己」。本文分為五章，第一章定義何為「醜陋的自己」，並從加勒比海地區之文學及歷史，來分析其重新書寫歷史的必要性，並對金凱得作品《安妮強》、《露西》作品的回顧。第二章分析母親角色在金凱得作品中的重要性。在加勒比海的文化中，母親該是一個文化的傳遞者，並擔負起協調本土價值及殖民主義兩者間的衝突。令人悲傷的是，母親既扮演重要的角色，但卻又無法勝任成為一位適任的文化傳承者。第三章探討小說中主角與其家人間的衝突，來突顯殖民者所帶來的價值－統治及被統治的二元對立－仍根深蒂固不可動搖。奴隸制度所帶來的性別及種族不平等都無法在奴役制度廢除時徹底消失；尤有甚者，主角的父親反而成為加勒比海地區獨立運動時期的新霸權，不論在社會或家庭中，父親對理性的崇尚及對西方現代化的尊崇都使得不平等更加嚴重，而使被污名化的加勒比海傳統及自我無法被正視。第四章闡述小說主角如何書寫「醜陋的自己」，在沒有母親為模範及父親盲目認為為有遵照殖民主的腳步來完成自己國家的現代化之情況下，小說中的主角只能以身為女性最原始的性慾及身體來作為替自己發聲及書寫被扭曲的歷史。第五章總結。 This thesis is a study of the importance of reclaiming the ugly Caribbean self, affirming once inherent identity in Jamaica Kincaid’s The Autobiography of My Mother (hereafter referred to as The Autobiography). In The Autobiography, the narrator, also the protagonist, tells her own story from childhood to old age. During her life, she confronts different adversities, such as the death of her own mother, the indifference of her family and the hegemony brought about by her father. All of these familial events are employed by Kincaid to criticize the colonial legacy—gender and racial inequality and the unchallenged relationship between the powerful and the powerless. I argue that Kincaid uses a subversive form of sexuality and the female body as metaphors to re-write Caribbean history. This thesis is divided into five chapters. Chapter One serves as an introductory chapter, discussing the ugly self, the importance of re-writing history and the reason why female sexuality and the female body are two methods of re-writing history. Through an analysis of her own biography and a brief introduction to her other two works of fiction—Annie John and Lucy—I examine Kincaid’s determination to voice her strong contempt for colonialism. Chapter Two centers on the significance of mother figures. The mother figures serve as mediators between the daughter figure and the denigration brought to the Caribbean by the colonizers. Although mother figures are assigned important responsibilities, they cannot serve as adequate cultural transmitters and mediators. This makes the protagonist’s process of fulfilling a maternal role difficult. Chapter Three focuses on the conflicts whereby Kincaid aims at criticizing the unchallenged binary oppositions— i.e., in the relationship between the powerful and the powerless. Slavery enhanced gender and racial inequality, which did not vanish with the abolition of the slavery. Moreover, the father figure becomes a new hegemony during and after the Caribbean Independence. The father figure’s pursuit for modernization becomes an obstacle to challenging the binary oppositions. In Chapter Four, I focus on how Kincaid confronts the ugly self. The protagonist uses her subversive sexuality and female body to criticize the binary opposition and to re-write a twisted history. Chapter Five is the conclusion.